Rule #14. Make People Think.

Let them figure out what you already did!

Why do we often find ourselves just telling people the answer rather than guiding them to discover it on their own? 

It’s because it’s easier, faster, and feels more efficient in the moment. But in doing so, we rob them of the opportunity to think, to challenge themselves, and to grow.

Let’s start with a common scenario at work. Imagine you’re training someone on a new software tool. You’ve used it for years, you know the shortcuts, the tricks, and the pitfalls. When the trainee hits a roadblock, it’s tempting to just jump in and show them the answer. After all, it saves time, and you can move on to the next point. But what’s the cost? They’ve missed out on the critical thinking process, the struggle that leads to understanding. By solving the problem for them, you’ve ensured they’ll need your help again next time.

Instead, what if you took a step back and asked guiding questions? “What do you think happens if you try this?” or “Why do you think that error popped up?” Let them explore the possibilities, make mistakes, and ultimately find the solution. This process builds confidence and autonomy. When people figure things out for themselves, the knowledge sticks.

Now, here’s where it gets tricky: The most skilled people at work often find themselves the least skilled at home. You might be a master of guiding your team through complex problems, but when it comes to your partner or family, suddenly those techniques feel out of place. You think, “I feel it’s wrong to use my work techniques at home,” or, “My partner is smarter than most and knows me well—shouldn’t they just get it without my guidance?”

But here’s the catch—relationships, just like professional environments, thrive on communication and mutual understanding. Just because your partner is smart doesn’t mean they can read your mind. Guiding someone to think, whether at work or at home, is about fostering a deeper connection and shared understanding. It’s about respecting their process of figuring things out, just like you would with a colleague or employee.

The mistake we often make is assuming that telling is helping. In reality, it’s a shortcut that serves us more than it serves them. Guilty myself many times, reminding myself by reminding you that it’s baaad. Whether you’re at work or at home, resist the urge to jump in with the solution. Instead, ask questions, provide support, and let them connect the dots.

By making people think, you’re not just teaching them a skill—you’re helping them develop the confidence to tackle challenges on their own. 

And in the long run, that’s what drives true growth, both personally and professionally. 

So, the next time you’re tempted to give someone the answer, pause, and ask yourself: Are we taking a shortcut today or building something long lasting?

I have to say there’ve been days I literally answered myself, “Today isn’t the day to go though this. My energy level is below 20% and I would rather go through the same topic some other day. That’s fine. Just make sure you don’t fall into the habit of doing that. It’s easier that it might seem at first. 

And yet, this rule is universal even with AI Era. Because people are people.